Plan this...event planner

pre·pare

   /prɪˈpɛər/ Show Spelled [pri-pair] Show IPA verb, -pared, -par·ing.

verb (used with object)

1. to put in proper condition or readiness: to prepare a patient for surgery.

2. to get (a meal) ready for eating, as by proper assembling, cooking, etc.

3. to manufacture, compound, or compose: to prepare a cough syrup.

 

 

Resign: check.

Move back home: check ;(

Storage run: check

get VISA: fuck.  I do that soon, I swear

School books: they sell that on amazon.com, right? Ugh.

 

I almost wanted to keep going until I realized the ONLY three things that I HAVE

done is resign, move and put shit in storage. SMH. 

 

We're in mid November and to date, I have 59 days left in America.  It's so crazy...SO CRAZY.  Some days I am so excited that I don't know what to do with myself.  Other days, I am so scared to go...I just wanna stay in my comfort zone where my whole life is with all my friends and family.  And then I remember why I choose to go in the first place.  To feed my soul, to finally be fully selfish and to live MY life, the way I want to.

 

Now in preparation of my move, I am being pulled in every direction.  My mom wants to spend more time, my friends wanna hang out more, the holidays are here for the industry and I am busy as shit.  I get guilt trips from every angle...and I just can't catch a break.  I wonder sometimes how MAC feels about our move.  Is she just as sad?  Stressed? Anxious?  But to be honest, I don't even really like to talk about it or think about it in detail cos...well, cos it becomes more and more real.  I like to live in the now...I guess that is why my to do list is 17 pages long still.

 

The crazy part is, this year alone I have made friends with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.  In such a short time, I have become sooo close with them, more than people I have know for 15+ years.  And being that girl that grew up with very limited to no girlfriends, this is the hardest part.  I know that we are always going to be friends...but it's different not being able to see you everyday,  not getting a good morning text from you, taking a picture of yourself and sending it to me cos you so damn modest, group texting and chatting and HH.  I know you hootchies are reading this and you know I am not an affectionate person AT ALL but...damn am I going to miss you all.  You better visit like you all said you would, period. 

 

So with all the planning I do on a daily basis for other people....it's now time for me to buckle down and plan for myself.  But first:

 

You are all formally invited to our going away party: 

Saturday, December 17th

Minna Art Gallery. 

Hosted by BOOGIE EVENTS.  S/O to B, thanks brutha.

 

(ps - Kat, I know you are reading this and thinking, "WTF" but

I will be at your Christmas party and arriving to my own, late.)

the begining

It all began as an idea. 

Today is the first step to the rest of my life.

I had this overwhelming yearning to feed my soul and to see the world.  A free spirit at heart, I surprise no one with my ideas of adventures and my travels.  I guess I should thank the US Government for telling me that I was too old to join the military...go figure.  Thankfully, the beautiful RENegade came into my life and introduced me to an outlet that would lead to endless possibilities.

June 2011, the idea of teaching abroad is played with.  The next round of classes begin January 2012..yeah, thats do-able.  Still an idea, still a half a year away...We both apply to teach English abroad in Florence, Italy.  Still just an idea, still more than 6 months away...we both get accepted and then pay our deposit.  Ok, but we are still 2 seasons away..we have plenty of time. Ideas of pasta, wine, cobblestones and vespas circle in my head, happily.

Ill be moving back home two months prior to the move.  smh, THAT should interesting.  Then one day I wake up one day and it's October 24th. Shit, I have ran outta time and now I have a week to pack up my stuff. My girlfriends come over to help..newspapers and boxes everywhere.  I have 3 main catagories: into storage, come with me and send to me.  All of my memories get put into cardboard boxes so they can go into a dark room, waiting for me to come home... if I come home. Ok, side note: I almost cried typing that. Slowly, my room empties out and  is starting to feel bare. And when I pause for a moment, I suddenly feel bare too. Taking the first round of boxes to my moms house.  Yeah... shit just got  real..real.  Minor panic attacks..brief moments of excitement..whooshes of worry..and day dreams that don't end...

Yesterday was the day I officially turned in my notice.  My last day is Friday, December 23rd. If this wasn't real...it is now. 

Hi, my name is Nicole and I am 28 years old. 

I have quit my job, which I have made a career out of, to move to another country.

In this country, I do not know a single soul nor do I speak the language.

I will be teaching English.  Did I mention I hardly speak Engrish?

..but..

I will be with one of my closest and we are in it together.

We will feed our souls and our tummy's

We will tour the world and open new doors.
this will be an experience we will never forget.

So begins the story:
eat.PLAY.love.2012

Late Night Show with David Letterman: Top 10

As a favor to...well, myself, I have created my very own dating

Top 10:

- be agressive..be..be...agressive

but not that creepy white van type shit.  you can gtfoh with all that

-have your shit in order

I get it, we are all trying to figure it out one day at a time.  But at least have a direction

-know what you want and act accordingly

please dont have any secret agendas.  Lemme know up front, lets make this easy

-act your age

if you are 30y/o and still going to City Night's...we gotta problem

-big picture thinker

if you only know what you are doing 30 minutes from now...I have already left

-fuck it, THINKER in general

if you don't know the difference between "wear" and "where", you should be dating my 7 y/o GOD daugher

-good sense of humor

I can be a bit dry and sarcastic.  If you think it's "bitchy" you can hit the curb

-a mans man

if I can change a tire and you can't. ew.  if I own more tools than you. EW.  if I know more about sports than you. EWW.

-I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

do you know what that means?  That I am tired of playing this Mama Bear shit.

-open minded

let's face it, I am from SF so get right...or get left (in the dust) 

because you are not in the power to CHOOSE

She is headstrong, smart, well-read, independent and just down right beautiful inside and out....

You know the type, we ALL know the type.  And sometimes, just sometimes, we ARE the type.  Besides the above, you are a no-nonsense kinda gal.  Fuck what you heard, this IS my world and it is ok to be selfish.  When your girlfriend is going thru it with that jerk-off yet again...you let her have it.  You know her worth, why doesn't she?  But to follow your own advise is like water and oil.  They just DO NOT mix

For a long while I was on the receiving end of stories about new relationships and the giving end of advise.  I would hear stories about my absolutely amazing friend meeting this less-than-average guy.  I would hear all the stories about what he said, things he didn't say, what he should do, what you would like him to do and what he actually did.  And more times than not, I would be saying the same thing.  You know he's a player.  You know he isn't ready.  Come on, that's a line.  He's just trying to smash.  And heaven forbid you actually fall in love and enter a monogamous relationship with him.  Cos then it's: he's not worth it. Know your own worth.  You can do better. Only you know when enough is enough.  and lastly, I GET IT.

See, the thing is, you can be the most intelligent person in the world.  You can have your ducks in a row and a good head on your shoulder.  But when it comes to matters of the heart, it always wins.  You can make the same mistake with different people over and over again cos you, my friend, are just a hopeless romantic. You run back to that same son of a bitch that broke your heart a million times.  Most of your friends remain cautious for you...express their concern.  Some lecture you, wanna shake you and say "did you forget?".  And some friends just say, "I get it" all the while shaking their head at you.  And it's because they have been there and done that.

You see, the thing about love is that you just can't CHOOSE who you fall for.  You just do.  There is no logic in it.  It takes over like a roller coaster.  At full speed, no brakes, taking you places that you never thought you would go.  You have no control and in the end it leaves you breathless and dizzy.  and maybe it is the masochist in all of us that leave us yearning for more...

Close mouths dont get fed.

men take out the trash

women clean the house

men mow the lawn

women do laundry

men make the money

women make the home

Do traditional gender roles still exist?  I mean, now a days more and more women are taking on roles that once upon a time men can only hold.  I mean, shit, Michele Bachman has officially announced her candidacy for the upcoming 2012 presidential elections.  While I am not a republican, Imma go with upgrade (although on a political side note, I still think Romney will win to run against Obama.  and of course, I remember Hilary did the same thing but we are speaking in present tense here).  But it's not only in the professional world.  There are more and more stay at home Dad's with bread winning wives.  Now how do these women get there...sure, ambition and drive (along with wit and intellect) have a lot to do with it.  But how women are communicating theirs wants and needs to reach such achievements have changed drastically.

Let us simplify by reviewing the current dating world.  Now for those of you that DO know me, you know that I am a go getter.  And if we are girlfriends..you are too.  And I have been very interested in the mannerisms that we as women display in this type of situation and how men react to different approaches.  A girlfriend of mine once talked about her "move"...and apparently, everyone has one.  But what type of move is efficient in getting that steller young feller over to where your standing?  And which moves say what about you?  What if it's not a move at all?  and more importantly...how forward is too forward?

The shy gal: she is standing at the bar with her girls, drinks in hand.  She notices a guy at the end of the bar who is HOTT.  She catches glimpses of him from time to time and she dare not move because she can see him perfectly.  But everyone can feel when someone is looking at them so he looks up at her and she looks away.  AWKWARDLY.  He doesn't know what to think about that so they never meet

The lady: Now she is on the dance floor with her girls dancing to any song with a good rhythm.  She notices a man on the side lines chatting it up with his friends.  Their eyes meet...she hold is for a second, looks away but looks back. and smiles.  That is his in...he asks for a dance.  GOT 'EM

The go-getter:  She walks into the club/bar/library/grocery store with her shoulders back, chest out and a smile on her face.  She sees something she likes and walks straight up to him and says, "I just wanted to let you know that you are incredibly handsome.." touches his arm ever so lightly and she turns and walks away.  He stands there in shock for a minute but as soon as he recovers...he goes in for the chase.

I opt to go with the go-getter style.  Not just in the dating world but with life in general.  I know this will come as a surprise to many, but I am passive agressive and I am working on it.  And since I have been, I landed a great job, have the best of friends, closer to my family and much happier in general.  How I feel is worn on my shoulder and you get no surprises from me.  It may be a little forward at times but you will always know where you stand with me.  Just wish it worked to other way around...or I wish I was a mind reader.  Tho fortune teller would work too...

Two spare tires

Why is it that when you meet someone incredibly fantastic, all you wanna do is find all the things that are wrong with them?  And when we find someone who is completely bad for us, all we wanna do is fix them.  SMH, terrible.

I love bad men.  The ones that have been in the penitentiary or at least have the potential in going.  The two tear on the face type that has robbed a bank or two.  Kidding...Kidding.  But really, it's the "bad boys" that us "good girls" just gravitate towards.  The leather wearing, motorcycle riding, tattoo on the neck having , 3 cell phone owning, bad mouth speaking swag that JUST KILLS ME.  You know they are bad for you...your friends warn you...HIS friends warn you...you have the gut feeling about him BUT you do what you do anyway.  He runs with the wrong crowd...he rolls in late night but is up at the crack of dawn.  He doesn't keep secrets cos you don't ask questions.  He's got that gansta swag that makes you feel safe and excited at the same time.  There is just something about him that makes you think that you are the girl that can make him a honest man.  Opps, you're wrong. 

What is even worse are the men as I just explained above but they wear suits. **swoon**  They have a good job but on their side hustle.  They are well articulated and have a mouth piece that just won't quit.  The type that walks into a room and everyone has to shake his hand cos yes, he is THAT important.  Standing next to him at an office party you feel like the trophy wife (without the wife) and when you are with him and his homies, you feel like Bonnie.  He knows the finer things in life...and acts accordingly.  Women take notice and so does he.  Options.  For some reason, your the one sitting passenger seat on a Friday night, at least for now.  But he is the type that is too busy with his one million projects and jobs and people and and and...so you are left on the back burner waiting for a free moment.

Then there is the unicorn man...no wait. Boy, you're an alien...your touch are foreign..it's super natural...extraterrestrial.  You can't be real cos there is no way that a man can be a good as you.  You got the swag...the job.. the stability and baby, your touch is as soft as they come.  You cupcake enough...you give me enough space...you hold my hand when no one is looking and steal a kisses when I least expect it.  You're sweet and do your best to sweep me off my feet.  The whirlwind idea of us tortures me in daydreams and before I lay my head down to sleep, you're the one I'm wishing I can be next to.  As far as I know, you are everything that I had told the universe about.  You are my Stringer Bell.  But again, timing could not be more wrong to meet Mr. Amazing.  Slowly, you feel yourself falling in like...

So you keep two spare tires just in case you get a flat

That's me!...no wait...THAT is

Women are traditionally regarded to be the emotional ones. 

The one who falls in love and ruins the plan. 
The one that is clingy and wants to spoon all night.

The one who wants children and the one who will stay home and play house.

Have you ever been Charlotte?  The cute and quaint girl who is just so darn lady like?  The one who wants her prince charming to sweep her off her feet and make her swoon...fall in love and just to live happily ever after.  Remember when you met that guy who almost had you thinking that you COULD BE THAT GIRL.  You can play house...you already know how to cook, you have a minor case of OCD and you've babysat once or twice in the past.  He promised you the moon and the stars and talked up a storm about the future.  He painted this beautiful picture that you just wanted to jump into and live in.

Have you ever been Miranda? Where your goals and ambitions came before anything and anyone else.  Your own drive had you on a natural high.  You would work from sun up to down because THIS was your passion...this IS what made sense. You say you got it, you got it..no doubt, there something about her.  Cos best believe, everything she got...she got herself.  And she is damn proud of that.  You come off bitchy but that's just because you know exactly what you want and how you want it.  Money is a funny motivator, isn't it?  And then one day you wake up with a loaded bank account and an empty bed...

Have you ever been Samantha?  SMH.  Must I go on?  Well, I suppose.  This is the type of gal that you become in...let's say...Vegas.  But this broad is FULL TIME.  She is able to cross gender lines and do things that we as women think only men can get away with.  Sure, she is looked at like a ho..but who's knockin her?  Her business is just that...hers.  Stay protected and do as you please...shit, how you please and with who you wanna please.  She is a cross between the complete opposite of Charlotte...love and marriage? Don't waste my time. and Miranda...self driven and money motivated.

Have your ever been Kerri? A downright hopeless romantic but a realist at the same time.  True love, "meant to be" and chivarly are not dying or dead, just rare.  Yes, you want what Charlotte wants...but real life.  No fairytales.  Yes, you have the ambition of Miranda but it does not dictate your life.  Yes, you understand the concept of "casual encounters" but not to the extent of Samantha.  But even with your head and heart as level as it can be, you still can not seem to get Mr. Big right.  You laugh, love and live on your own until that one day he follows you to Paris...or hopefully...Italy.

My everything man.

Intellectually challenging me with thoughts of a philosophical mind

With deep meanings in every conversation spoken. Subjects of any kind

Being able to think outside of the box that has been conditioned for us

Pushing oneself to expand and learn more has been a must

Spiritually fulfilling me with thorough biblical understanding

Striving to walk the path that our LORD is demanding

 Finding self in the confusion that the world holds

Patiently waiting for his purpose, our call what the LORD has told

Sexually pleasing me with a look and just one kiss

Sending tingles up and down my body, not one part he has missed

One embrace in his arms and anticipating the night fall

Accepting his manhood within me, I'd given him my all

A man that had been created with such a beautiful mind

Learning new things about this man over some lengthy time

A person that can fulfil you in almost every way that they can

I believe that something this impossible can happen because he is my man

Circa 2003

The "not quite" mile high

ser·en·dip·i·ty  /ˌsɛrənˈdɪpɪti/ [ser-uhn-dip-i-tee]In the simplest of words, it means a "happy accident".The end of May was approaching and Lynn thought to herself, "Finally....a long weekend.  Time to jet set my ass outta this town".  She is lucky enough to have friends who live in different states so she can visit them on occasions like this.  So Memorial day rolls around and she finds herself on a Friday afternoon preparing for take off.  This includes, but not limited to, whiskey and water with a stick to light.  Needless to say, by the time she is getting picked up to leave, she is light weight feelin' herself.  LIGHWEIGHTSince she does have book club in a week, she brings the book along so she is able to get a good chunk done on her plane ride.  She arrives at the airport, drunk, and waaay early.  So to get a head start, she sits down with her nose in her book. Have you ever tried reading a murder mystery drunk?  Not recommended.  So Lynn does what she knew she should have done from the start, go to the airport bar.She finds one seat empty, corner bar, next to a young gent.  She kindly asks him, "Is this seat taken?" he says no and that it's all hers so, she takes a seat.  The bartender asks what she's having and she switches it up to her default drink, Kettle1 and cran (2 limes pls).  As if the bartender knows her already, he asks, "Would you like to make that a double for $3 more?"....um, HELL YES!  Mind you, she is 3 in already with a double on the way....and she is going back and forth with the bartender for a minute.  Some og asian dude that doesn't quite get that she is fucken with him.  Oh well.  The giants game is on so she watches attentively.  The gent to her left comments on them and she comments back.She begins to notice that this gent is sketching on cocktail napkins with a pencil...and she DESPERATELY wants to give him a piece of paper.  But trying to avoid being too bold, she keeps to herself.  That is...until he starts it.  It was a simple, "Where are you headed?" that began the sarcastic conversation that lead her to find out that Wayne was on the same flight as she was.  Secretly, she was excited.  It was almost time to board so Lynn closes her bill and excuses herself before she has to get on the plane.  She tells Wayne that it was nice to meet him and off the bar stool she goes.False alarm..no one is boarding the flight quite yet so Lynn and Wayne stand off to the side and continue where they left off.  Midway, he asks where she is seated and she responds "20C" an aisle seat.  He plays coy for awhile before revealing that he is seated at "20E" a middle seat.  Now what are the chances of meeting a guy at an airport bar who is traveling to the same place as you AND AND AND is in the same row?  Now the aisle does separate them but that is damn close.  So they board the plane together and take their seats.  A young lady is already in her aisle seat as he sits down.  Lynn is a little disappointed, but not for long.  He leans over a flashes a smile and Lynn has to make a quick decision.  And she does...She leans over to the young lady and asks, "Would you mind terribly if you and I switched seats?" She receieves a quizzical look but agrees and they switch seats.  He looks pleasantly surprised but she immediately begins to regret it.  Has she been too bold?  Is she now stuck on a 3 hour plane ride in an awkward situation? No.  Not even close.  He is an artist and breaks out his sketch book in which they take turns drawing pictures and playing tic tac toe.  They go thru 5 pages in the first half of their flight.  Well there goes her plans for reading.  The stewardess comes around for beverage service and asks if this is their first holiday away together.  He plays in to it saying that they are visiting friends but at the same time Lynn says they just met. Dammit, that coulda been fun.  Wayne buys her a beer and they slam it so they can get a jack and coke.  He has to excuse himself and being the slick rick that Lynn is, she turns to the first page from where they started sketching and writes in"Lynn415-555-5555"When he returns its more of the same banter, sarcasm and terrible (on her part) drawings.  Now it's almost time to land and he scribbles "# ?"  Now what he doesn't know is that he already has the number so she has to play naive so when she is passed the pencil, she writes and "X" in one of the spaces as if they are playing tic tac toe.  When he is handed back the pencil...he writes "5" indicatring that he is now asking for her number.  Duh.  They are interupted by the stewardess asking them to prepare for landing.  The lights in the cabin are still off and they start to decend. They are facing each other and he goes in for it.  But only 90%...now its up to her to take the last 10%.  Trust me, she thought about it.  This has been the BEST first date (if you can even call it anything at all) that she has been on yet.  But don't get all excited thinking that she is about to join the MILE HIGH CLUB quite yet.  Before she can even weigh her options, the cabin lights come on which makes her back away.  If they would have given her 30 more seconds...she may have stuck her tounge down his throat.  Kidding, kidding.  Or was she?They disembark the plane.Does he ever find her #...The answer is:YES.

Punch Drunk Love

Everyone has that one "couple" in their life.  The couple that every time you look at them, you think, "I want...that".  For most people, it's your parents but sometimes, you may be lucky enough to have a couple like that in your life who also happens to double as two of your closest friends.

Meet Amber and Nick.  These two were the "fun" couple.  The ones that you double dated with because, let's face it, they would be down to bar hop in the mission and get just as smashed as you two.  But they were also perfectly fine with staying in with a couple of bottles and some brew-skis while playing board games.  Yup, that's right...we had couples game night.  Other nights the men watched the fight or the game or a man grunting television show while the women drunk chatted over politics and religion.  And they were the squad....until "the couple" moved to Denver.

Every year since, the couple would get a visit from their bay area friends.  Roof top bars, July 4th BBQ's and nights trying to go to the pool.  Except for this last time.  It was a single visit... from their single friend... visiting the happily married, just-bought-a-home, couple.  But it was ALL good, cos these were HER friends...people she loved and admired so the forethought didn't bother her.

She spent all weekend with the hubby, whom she regards as another brother, since the wifey had to work most of the holiday weekend.  It was exactly what she needed...to get away from the city, be in new scenery with people that she loves and truely misses.  Its also a plus to be drinking as soon as you wake up till the time you pass out where ever you lay your head.  But it was this one particular evening...Saturday night...

So the day starts off with big bro and little sis hitting up Sam's for some much needed grub paired with a fully loaded bloody marys.  Followed by the soccer game, where big bro sipped on red wine and shouted at the TV while little sis napped in her bed downstairs.  She was pleasantly awakened by brother saying, "Hey get up.  Its cocktail time on the veranda".  Happily, she rolls outta bed to have a drink.  All day she had been talking about "him" and the break up and Brother just let her.  He never said anything to take sides unless she specifically asked him a male point of view question.  (thank you brother for letting me talk cos sometimes I just need someone to just listen)

So nightfalls and wifey joins them to only find themselves at a bar where little sister insists on everyone taking shots (what can she say?  She's already drunk at this point), so they do...and plenty of them.  Everyone is pretty much toasted at this point so back it's back home for a nightcap (ie shots of Maker's Mark and glasses of wine).  Lights are off and surround sound is on playing all the hits.  Its a dance party in the middle of the living room with just them 3 and little puppy Chole.  And then that is when it happens...the WHOLE reason why this blog is being written.

She watches as this happy couple dances together to whatever song is playing.  Just all smiles and completely in tune with eachother.  While little sister is trying NOT to be the awkward 3rd wheel friend, she notes how in love they look...and are.  How, something as silly and as small as being drunk in your own living room and dancing with you life partner could equal happiness beyond compare.

and that's when she loses it...

Puttin it on front street: keep it 100

The Dating World

"Ive been watching you, watching me and I know you want it..."

Oh, the fun the dating world has to offer!  All the awkward-ness, guessing games, being on our best behavior and just being "ridiculously selective".

(better detailed in Lovely's blog:http://girlsarethenewboys.com/2011/05/selective-disservice/)

Recently, I went on one of the most enjoyable dates I have been on to date (post break up).  I really wasn't sure what to expect so, I expected nothing.  I am glad I did too because I was pleasantly surprised about this guy.  Dinner went off without a hitch and the conversation flowed with ease only to realize that we were more similar than I had originally thought. The date ended with a simple, non-intrusive hug, nicely done.  I actually couldn't wait 'till he asked me out again, which thankfully he did.  So a couple days pass and date #2 comes around.  This time, dinner and a movie.  Again, dinner was great...conversation hit an awkward note mid way but we recovered quickly.  So movie time..while the movie we watched was suppose to be a comedy, I found it more tender than anything else.  So here we are, sitting next to each other in a dark theater watching a movie that I am not trying to cry in...period.  No hand holding or arm around me and again, the date ends with a hug. And I know this may come as a surprise to most of you when I say this but I'm a little aggressive (I know, shocker)...so I appreciate a man that is a little more aggressive than I am.  Which lead me to believe that, I am just not his type.  That was confirmed when I got a text message Saturday afternoon from him saying he was "keepin it 100" in the most vague way possible.  Which brings me back to Lovely's blog.  In the dating world, we DO put our best foot forward and we DO become ridiculously selective when sharing things about ourselves.  But here's the thing, if on this first date I kept it 100 and he kept it 100 then we wouldn't have to play the guessing game on what either of our intentions were/are.  Cos more than likely, we had the same intentions but don't know it cos texting can only go so far. 

So as Boobs said, in this world of electronic dating (fb, twitter, texting...) put your "stats" up and cards all on the "table".  Cos trying to find all that out through multiple dates is exhausting and quite frankly, sometimes a waste of time.  And let's be real, time is money and I am not getting any younger.  So really, if you wanna keep it 100...put it all on front street and end the madness to these guessing games.

Pocket full of sunshine: it's called happiness

You know how they say, "it's always the last place you look"?  Well, why in the world would you keep looking if you already found what you were looking for? 

It all came around a couple of weekends ago (referenced in Mac's blog as well: http://rentasticvoyage.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/herstory/) when we had actually planned a slumber party.  No lie, I hadn't done one of these since I was like in the 5th grade and I was uberly excited.  No bars, no boys, no makeup...just us in our most pure form.  And of course, what kind of slumber party would it be without a case of wine and some cheese?  One by one the ladies pile into Mac's house all carrying in a party favor in hand.  As I pop bottles open and pour them into each glass, each of us share our own story with each other.  I am actually surprised at how similar we are because we are so different.  Not one tear was shed...also a surprise.  By the time 4am rolls around, we are dead tired and sleep exactly where we were (well most of us anyway).  I was lucky enough to wake up to, not one...but TWO beautiful women and a chopsilog.  Three of us laid around watching BOOM BOOM KAT and LAMAR AND KHLOE till 3pm....*heavy sigh*

Now the next weekend rolls around and this year I was invited to come to Kickin' It Kickball 2011.  First let me start by saying, fucken #winning!  BUT it was on a Saturday morning and Boobs wanted me to be at her house by 7am.  Yeah, that was not gonna happen so I spend the night (Friday).  Conveniently enough, Light also lives there so "how I met your mother" was on the agenda for us three for the night. And just to be true to form, accompanied by 2 bottles of wine and some cheese.  The next day is a blur...no seriously, I was seeing blurry ALL day.  Drunk by 9:30am?  Yes, that is kickin kickball...didn't I say #winning?  The Wolf Pack + is finally all together and all equally (as Hair would say), schwasted.  I am not sure how we lasted till 5:30pm...that's a whole work day of drinking.  So we pile into the cars and head back to Boobs house and instead of driving Lovely home like I said I would...we all pass out in the cave.  Later to wake up, eat, how I met your mother and back to sleep.  Waking up to a room full of beautiful women two weekends in a row?  That's right..I win!

The topper was this past Tuesday.  If anyone reading this follows any of us on twitter, you would know what type of night we had.  Dinner for 7 ladies  at Toyose with bottle service...yup 10 bottles, count 'em.  Lovely mentioned karaoke and I was gungho on that shit...c'mon, I AM Filipina.  So after a long and drawn out lesson on how to read Korean...we went ape shit.  TLC, Boyz 2 men, Destiny's Child and our favorite...Justin Bieber. Which all lead us back to the pub for some shots and beers then Senories pizza to follow...yes, all that on a Tuesday. 

It had me wake up realizing...I don't have to find my happiness cos I have had it all along.  Yes, often times you will find us in a bar in a short skirt, heels, make up and a drink (or two) in hand ready to meet the next Mr.....well with our luck....Mr. Right...now.  But what is even better, is that we are able to spend night's in the house with sweats and a tshirt, no make up but still with a drink (or two) in hand...and who gives two shits about Mr. Right or Right Now, cos right now...I got all my Mrs. Rights

My girls are my very own pocket full of sunshine

but...I am a woman too

Everyone has that friend, who seems like no matter what...nothing can really get to them.  There skin is as thick as leather and it's like water off a ducks back.  We admire how strong they are...don't we?  Or do we?

Cos for those who know me, know that:

I speak my mind

and I pay the consequences

I challenge and love to be challenged

I am independent and can happily operate on my own

I take pride in saying, "I got that"

I can take care of myself and my family

not because I can but because I want to

My friends and family are the center of my universe

and I would do ANYTHING for them

I stay strong when you can't

I roll my eyes, snap my tongue and have an attitude

There isn't much that I wouldn't do because:

I am adventurous but at times reckless

I work hard because I like to play hard

I believe the world is full of good people

in a way, that makes me naive

I laugh loud, love hard and dance to the rhythm of my own drum

but...

I am a woman too.

I feel and absorb

while my shoulder is always open, I need one from time to time

and sometimes, all I need is a hug

spooning beats out forking any day - no matter what you say

being needed is a good feeling

but being taken care of is equally nice

when I am weak...I need you to be strong

flowers make my day.  Esp when they are a surprise

the little things do count even more than the big things

I remember what you say and the promises you make

chivalry is not far fetched for me and I believe in true love

 my heart does and can break

but I CAN and WILL bounce back

until then...

Just because you don't see me crying on the outside does not mean that I am not dying on the inside.

It's not you...it's the OTHER you

So you and all your girlfriends are single, aye?  Your week is jammed packed with brunches, lunches, dinner, after dinner drinks and dancing.  It's just one thing after another...vacations, road trips, shopping and happy hour.  And you do it all together.  If you are not all together then you are on the phone, texting or chatting on the net all day long.  Then one day Missey meets the man of her dreams and slowly, she is out with the group less and less.  The calls slowly start to diminish and now you hardly get an email from her.  All of a sudden you realize that your group has now decreased by one.   You NEVER see her or hear from her anymore.  One day, over dinner no doubt, your girlfriends are discussing this and you think, "Gee, every time Missey gets a man, she always leaves us".  Sounds familiar don't it?

So now you find yourself in a relationship with your very own Mr. Big.  Now you are calling Missey to go on double dates with you guys.  They hit it off almost immediately and talk about everything from sports to guns, motorcycles and cars.  They exchanged usernames so they can play COD: Black Ops together and borrow each others games.  This is great cos you get the best of both worlds: hanging out with your man and spending some much needed girl time with one of your besties.  Saturday night's consist of double dinners at each other's homes and game night.

Then that dreaded day comes where you and Mr. Big break up and now you hardly hear from Missey and "Man" anymore.  Anytime you want to just come over and hang out, they want you to bring someone or hook you up with someone.  All of a sudden, they feel sorry for you.  When discussing this with one of my gf's, she added, "Am I (alone) not good enough?" and I was almost knocked out of my seat when a mutual girlfriend had said to another, "If you had a man, I would be inviting you guys out all the time!" Ouch.  Now you are not good enough to be with your couple friends because, honey, you are NOT a couple.  You are you and you alone. 

It's funny how we automatically think that it's when women go from single to couple, that the calls stop.  But now I am realizing that it's the other way around too.  Your single friends didn't wanna hear about target shopping with Mr. Fantastic and your couple friends don't want to hear about your wild Monday-Friday night. 

Either way, if your feather don't look like theirs....they don't want to hear it. 

Welcome to the real world: Go get 'em tiger

THE DATING SCENE

You would be amazed at the chats that go on amongst women, esp. when it is over drinks.  You used to have to take a back seat, because let's face it, couple talk is not as juicy as single talk.  So the days of listening to your girlfriends talk about their most recent encounters with men are now over and you now get to join.  So enter the new world of single-hood  and dating, but how?  It's not something that comes second nature anymore.  Your not as witty with the sly remarks and the eye thing you used to do has lost it's umph....

So you compare notes, and don't act like you're surprised, men do it too and if you don't maybe you should.  I am not saying kiss and tell but that awkward 2:00am text you sent her/him the other night could have been avoided had you asked your friends opinion first.  And if you are worried about asking your friends in the first place, it's probably not a good idea.  Also, it's not very easy to identify red flags since you are knee deep in this shit.  So friends are a good reference to inform you when that man is giving that good ole red flag a wave. 

Over drinks awhile ago, a good friend of mine mentioned that now a days you gotta ask, straight up, if he has a girlfriend or not.  But the trick to this question is actually saying the word "girlfriend".  I once asked someone if he was "seeing" anyone.  To me, that encompasses all the types of relationships.  Well apparently not...just because he was "seeing" someone on a regular basis did not mean that he was in a relationship.  Yeah, we debated on the difference...and yes, I think I won.  And please don't tell me "that it's complicated" cos it's not.  You have a girlfriend, that seems pretty straight forward to me.

And not to offend any freak-a-leeks out there but seriously, if you invite a girl over to your house and give her the grand tour, please oh please, put your damn stripper pole away.  The last thing a good girl wants to see as soon as she enters your room is a stripper pole.  The only thing that is going thru her mind is trashy and trust me when I say, you just can't get over that first impression.  Now don't get me wrong, the ex and I spoke about getting one, and that can be sexy for a couple but if your single and have one....what type of message are you sending?

Let's talk about texting etiquette.  First, let's start by saying, nothing good happens after midnight, ok?  Now while I understand that we are in the age of shorthand texts/emails, when possible, use spell check and correct grammar.  There is nothing sexier than a man with a HUGE...brain.  If you do not know the difference between "wear" & "where" I will definitely be laughing at you and I promise that I will not be calling you back.  You can go ahead and cancel that date too.

And with social networking being the center of our world now a days, keep in mind what you post vs what you say.  Cos if the two don't match, you are bound to get caught slippen.

Remember when: In loving memory

It's only fitting to begin...well from the beginning.  And it all began with: L O V E

Remember when you first started falling in love with him/her?  How you fought it cos you'd been single and independent for so long that the idea of breaking your wall down was just plain terrifying.  Especially considering all the years you put into creating this beautiful, protecting, shatterproof wall.  There was a sense of comfort hiding behind it.  But you couldn't stop seeing him/her, even when you told yourself that you wouldn't because you felt like you shouldn't.  Once a week turned into twice and twice turned into thrice and suddenly you can't go a day without hoping you will see him/her.  Cute texts and day dreams became the highlight of your day.  All of a sudden you wake up and yup, it happened to you, you became a cupcake. 

Remember the day you finally gave in and gave your heart out?  You became that "one girl" and you threw that little black book away.  That's right, threw it away.  You didn't hide it or let someone borrow it, you threw it away.  He was the man of your dreams and there was no doubt that you did not need that stupid little book anymore.  And the world knew it was real when you finally changed your status to: in a relationship and you held hands in public.  You slowly went from being "me" and transformed into "we", happily.

Remember when love was enough?  When it didn't matter how many lemons life threw at you because he was always willing to pull up a seat and share a lemon drop (Mmmmm, lemon drop).  When everything was fun and new and exciting and no matter what, it was all about you two.  It was like riding a natural high (yes, riding high.  Quite a combo if you ask me).  But you see, the thing about highs...is that there are always lows.  And when we got there we used to fight tooth and nail to make our way back to the top, together.  You told yourself that this man is worth the fight cos the love you shared was like no other.

And then remember when it all changed? When all the little sweet things became more and more sparse and then you began to nag.  When you went from being "the fun couple" that everyone called to hang out with to just the opposite.  When for years you would do anything to see the other person smile and now they smile without you.  That's when you realize, love is just not enough. 

But this is not a sad story, it's actually the opposite (after you are thru cursing his/her name and burning all their shit).  You finally except that you two just don't make sense, no matter how much you love each other.  But the best part is, you now have learned what you need vs what you think you want.  Take comfort in knowing that the next one will be better and if it's not....at least you are better prepared. 

The "we" no longer exists but you are perfectly content in finding that "me" again, minus the wall.

Welcome: this is just the beginning

I would like to preface by saying, I am in no way considered a good writter.  What you will find here are my thoughts raw and un-cut.  Just like how it would be if we were sitting over drinks and I am telling you about my most recent adventures.

I have been following bogs from the most creative, clever, insightful, well written ladies (not to mention beautiful, independent and just down right amazing) and it got me thinking....how do they know?  How do they know what I am going thru or I was just thinking about that or how do I deal with this.  Well, they didn't know, we are just going thru the same things at the same time.  So here I am offering my point of view on things in hopes that you will find comfort in knowing that you are not alone...it was NOT just you...and we are in this together.  Just the way I feel when I read their blogs...

So welcome to the official start of:
No Sex in the City: Chronicles of a Single Woman