Puttin it on front street: keep it 100

The Dating World

"Ive been watching you, watching me and I know you want it..."

Oh, the fun the dating world has to offer!  All the awkward-ness, guessing games, being on our best behavior and just being "ridiculously selective".

(better detailed in Lovely's blog:http://girlsarethenewboys.com/2011/05/selective-disservice/)

Recently, I went on one of the most enjoyable dates I have been on to date (post break up).  I really wasn't sure what to expect so, I expected nothing.  I am glad I did too because I was pleasantly surprised about this guy.  Dinner went off without a hitch and the conversation flowed with ease only to realize that we were more similar than I had originally thought. The date ended with a simple, non-intrusive hug, nicely done.  I actually couldn't wait 'till he asked me out again, which thankfully he did.  So a couple days pass and date #2 comes around.  This time, dinner and a movie.  Again, dinner was great...conversation hit an awkward note mid way but we recovered quickly.  So movie time..while the movie we watched was suppose to be a comedy, I found it more tender than anything else.  So here we are, sitting next to each other in a dark theater watching a movie that I am not trying to cry in...period.  No hand holding or arm around me and again, the date ends with a hug. And I know this may come as a surprise to most of you when I say this but I'm a little aggressive (I know, shocker)...so I appreciate a man that is a little more aggressive than I am.  Which lead me to believe that, I am just not his type.  That was confirmed when I got a text message Saturday afternoon from him saying he was "keepin it 100" in the most vague way possible.  Which brings me back to Lovely's blog.  In the dating world, we DO put our best foot forward and we DO become ridiculously selective when sharing things about ourselves.  But here's the thing, if on this first date I kept it 100 and he kept it 100 then we wouldn't have to play the guessing game on what either of our intentions were/are.  Cos more than likely, we had the same intentions but don't know it cos texting can only go so far. 

So as Boobs said, in this world of electronic dating (fb, twitter, texting...) put your "stats" up and cards all on the "table".  Cos trying to find all that out through multiple dates is exhausting and quite frankly, sometimes a waste of time.  And let's be real, time is money and I am not getting any younger.  So really, if you wanna keep it 100...put it all on front street and end the madness to these guessing games.

Pocket full of sunshine: it's called happiness

You know how they say, "it's always the last place you look"?  Well, why in the world would you keep looking if you already found what you were looking for? 

It all came around a couple of weekends ago (referenced in Mac's blog as well: http://rentasticvoyage.wordpress.com/2011/05/10/herstory/) when we had actually planned a slumber party.  No lie, I hadn't done one of these since I was like in the 5th grade and I was uberly excited.  No bars, no boys, no makeup...just us in our most pure form.  And of course, what kind of slumber party would it be without a case of wine and some cheese?  One by one the ladies pile into Mac's house all carrying in a party favor in hand.  As I pop bottles open and pour them into each glass, each of us share our own story with each other.  I am actually surprised at how similar we are because we are so different.  Not one tear was shed...also a surprise.  By the time 4am rolls around, we are dead tired and sleep exactly where we were (well most of us anyway).  I was lucky enough to wake up to, not one...but TWO beautiful women and a chopsilog.  Three of us laid around watching BOOM BOOM KAT and LAMAR AND KHLOE till 3pm....*heavy sigh*

Now the next weekend rolls around and this year I was invited to come to Kickin' It Kickball 2011.  First let me start by saying, fucken #winning!  BUT it was on a Saturday morning and Boobs wanted me to be at her house by 7am.  Yeah, that was not gonna happen so I spend the night (Friday).  Conveniently enough, Light also lives there so "how I met your mother" was on the agenda for us three for the night. And just to be true to form, accompanied by 2 bottles of wine and some cheese.  The next day is a blur...no seriously, I was seeing blurry ALL day.  Drunk by 9:30am?  Yes, that is kickin kickball...didn't I say #winning?  The Wolf Pack + is finally all together and all equally (as Hair would say), schwasted.  I am not sure how we lasted till 5:30pm...that's a whole work day of drinking.  So we pile into the cars and head back to Boobs house and instead of driving Lovely home like I said I would...we all pass out in the cave.  Later to wake up, eat, how I met your mother and back to sleep.  Waking up to a room full of beautiful women two weekends in a row?  That's right..I win!

The topper was this past Tuesday.  If anyone reading this follows any of us on twitter, you would know what type of night we had.  Dinner for 7 ladies  at Toyose with bottle service...yup 10 bottles, count 'em.  Lovely mentioned karaoke and I was gungho on that shit...c'mon, I AM Filipina.  So after a long and drawn out lesson on how to read Korean...we went ape shit.  TLC, Boyz 2 men, Destiny's Child and our favorite...Justin Bieber. Which all lead us back to the pub for some shots and beers then Senories pizza to follow...yes, all that on a Tuesday. 

It had me wake up realizing...I don't have to find my happiness cos I have had it all along.  Yes, often times you will find us in a bar in a short skirt, heels, make up and a drink (or two) in hand ready to meet the next Mr.....well with our luck....Mr. Right...now.  But what is even better, is that we are able to spend night's in the house with sweats and a tshirt, no make up but still with a drink (or two) in hand...and who gives two shits about Mr. Right or Right Now, cos right now...I got all my Mrs. Rights

My girls are my very own pocket full of sunshine

but...I am a woman too

Everyone has that friend, who seems like no matter what...nothing can really get to them.  There skin is as thick as leather and it's like water off a ducks back.  We admire how strong they are...don't we?  Or do we?

Cos for those who know me, know that:

I speak my mind

and I pay the consequences

I challenge and love to be challenged

I am independent and can happily operate on my own

I take pride in saying, "I got that"

I can take care of myself and my family

not because I can but because I want to

My friends and family are the center of my universe

and I would do ANYTHING for them

I stay strong when you can't

I roll my eyes, snap my tongue and have an attitude

There isn't much that I wouldn't do because:

I am adventurous but at times reckless

I work hard because I like to play hard

I believe the world is full of good people

in a way, that makes me naive

I laugh loud, love hard and dance to the rhythm of my own drum

but...

I am a woman too.

I feel and absorb

while my shoulder is always open, I need one from time to time

and sometimes, all I need is a hug

spooning beats out forking any day - no matter what you say

being needed is a good feeling

but being taken care of is equally nice

when I am weak...I need you to be strong

flowers make my day.  Esp when they are a surprise

the little things do count even more than the big things

I remember what you say and the promises you make

chivalry is not far fetched for me and I believe in true love

 my heart does and can break

but I CAN and WILL bounce back

until then...

Just because you don't see me crying on the outside does not mean that I am not dying on the inside.

It's not you...it's the OTHER you

So you and all your girlfriends are single, aye?  Your week is jammed packed with brunches, lunches, dinner, after dinner drinks and dancing.  It's just one thing after another...vacations, road trips, shopping and happy hour.  And you do it all together.  If you are not all together then you are on the phone, texting or chatting on the net all day long.  Then one day Missey meets the man of her dreams and slowly, she is out with the group less and less.  The calls slowly start to diminish and now you hardly get an email from her.  All of a sudden you realize that your group has now decreased by one.   You NEVER see her or hear from her anymore.  One day, over dinner no doubt, your girlfriends are discussing this and you think, "Gee, every time Missey gets a man, she always leaves us".  Sounds familiar don't it?

So now you find yourself in a relationship with your very own Mr. Big.  Now you are calling Missey to go on double dates with you guys.  They hit it off almost immediately and talk about everything from sports to guns, motorcycles and cars.  They exchanged usernames so they can play COD: Black Ops together and borrow each others games.  This is great cos you get the best of both worlds: hanging out with your man and spending some much needed girl time with one of your besties.  Saturday night's consist of double dinners at each other's homes and game night.

Then that dreaded day comes where you and Mr. Big break up and now you hardly hear from Missey and "Man" anymore.  Anytime you want to just come over and hang out, they want you to bring someone or hook you up with someone.  All of a sudden, they feel sorry for you.  When discussing this with one of my gf's, she added, "Am I (alone) not good enough?" and I was almost knocked out of my seat when a mutual girlfriend had said to another, "If you had a man, I would be inviting you guys out all the time!" Ouch.  Now you are not good enough to be with your couple friends because, honey, you are NOT a couple.  You are you and you alone. 

It's funny how we automatically think that it's when women go from single to couple, that the calls stop.  But now I am realizing that it's the other way around too.  Your single friends didn't wanna hear about target shopping with Mr. Fantastic and your couple friends don't want to hear about your wild Monday-Friday night. 

Either way, if your feather don't look like theirs....they don't want to hear it. 

Welcome to the real world: Go get 'em tiger

THE DATING SCENE

You would be amazed at the chats that go on amongst women, esp. when it is over drinks.  You used to have to take a back seat, because let's face it, couple talk is not as juicy as single talk.  So the days of listening to your girlfriends talk about their most recent encounters with men are now over and you now get to join.  So enter the new world of single-hood  and dating, but how?  It's not something that comes second nature anymore.  Your not as witty with the sly remarks and the eye thing you used to do has lost it's umph....

So you compare notes, and don't act like you're surprised, men do it too and if you don't maybe you should.  I am not saying kiss and tell but that awkward 2:00am text you sent her/him the other night could have been avoided had you asked your friends opinion first.  And if you are worried about asking your friends in the first place, it's probably not a good idea.  Also, it's not very easy to identify red flags since you are knee deep in this shit.  So friends are a good reference to inform you when that man is giving that good ole red flag a wave. 

Over drinks awhile ago, a good friend of mine mentioned that now a days you gotta ask, straight up, if he has a girlfriend or not.  But the trick to this question is actually saying the word "girlfriend".  I once asked someone if he was "seeing" anyone.  To me, that encompasses all the types of relationships.  Well apparently not...just because he was "seeing" someone on a regular basis did not mean that he was in a relationship.  Yeah, we debated on the difference...and yes, I think I won.  And please don't tell me "that it's complicated" cos it's not.  You have a girlfriend, that seems pretty straight forward to me.

And not to offend any freak-a-leeks out there but seriously, if you invite a girl over to your house and give her the grand tour, please oh please, put your damn stripper pole away.  The last thing a good girl wants to see as soon as she enters your room is a stripper pole.  The only thing that is going thru her mind is trashy and trust me when I say, you just can't get over that first impression.  Now don't get me wrong, the ex and I spoke about getting one, and that can be sexy for a couple but if your single and have one....what type of message are you sending?

Let's talk about texting etiquette.  First, let's start by saying, nothing good happens after midnight, ok?  Now while I understand that we are in the age of shorthand texts/emails, when possible, use spell check and correct grammar.  There is nothing sexier than a man with a HUGE...brain.  If you do not know the difference between "wear" & "where" I will definitely be laughing at you and I promise that I will not be calling you back.  You can go ahead and cancel that date too.

And with social networking being the center of our world now a days, keep in mind what you post vs what you say.  Cos if the two don't match, you are bound to get caught slippen.