Plan this...event planner

pre·pare

   /prɪˈpɛər/ Show Spelled [pri-pair] Show IPA verb, -pared, -par·ing.

verb (used with object)

1. to put in proper condition or readiness: to prepare a patient for surgery.

2. to get (a meal) ready for eating, as by proper assembling, cooking, etc.

3. to manufacture, compound, or compose: to prepare a cough syrup.

 

 

Resign: check.

Move back home: check ;(

Storage run: check

get VISA: fuck.  I do that soon, I swear

School books: they sell that on amazon.com, right? Ugh.

 

I almost wanted to keep going until I realized the ONLY three things that I HAVE

done is resign, move and put shit in storage. SMH. 

 

We're in mid November and to date, I have 59 days left in America.  It's so crazy...SO CRAZY.  Some days I am so excited that I don't know what to do with myself.  Other days, I am so scared to go...I just wanna stay in my comfort zone where my whole life is with all my friends and family.  And then I remember why I choose to go in the first place.  To feed my soul, to finally be fully selfish and to live MY life, the way I want to.

 

Now in preparation of my move, I am being pulled in every direction.  My mom wants to spend more time, my friends wanna hang out more, the holidays are here for the industry and I am busy as shit.  I get guilt trips from every angle...and I just can't catch a break.  I wonder sometimes how MAC feels about our move.  Is she just as sad?  Stressed? Anxious?  But to be honest, I don't even really like to talk about it or think about it in detail cos...well, cos it becomes more and more real.  I like to live in the now...I guess that is why my to do list is 17 pages long still.

 

The crazy part is, this year alone I have made friends with some of the most amazing people I have ever met.  In such a short time, I have become sooo close with them, more than people I have know for 15+ years.  And being that girl that grew up with very limited to no girlfriends, this is the hardest part.  I know that we are always going to be friends...but it's different not being able to see you everyday,  not getting a good morning text from you, taking a picture of yourself and sending it to me cos you so damn modest, group texting and chatting and HH.  I know you hootchies are reading this and you know I am not an affectionate person AT ALL but...damn am I going to miss you all.  You better visit like you all said you would, period. 

 

So with all the planning I do on a daily basis for other people....it's now time for me to buckle down and plan for myself.  But first:

 

You are all formally invited to our going away party: 

Saturday, December 17th

Minna Art Gallery. 

Hosted by BOOGIE EVENTS.  S/O to B, thanks brutha.

 

(ps - Kat, I know you are reading this and thinking, "WTF" but

I will be at your Christmas party and arriving to my own, late.)

the begining

It all began as an idea. 

Today is the first step to the rest of my life.

I had this overwhelming yearning to feed my soul and to see the world.  A free spirit at heart, I surprise no one with my ideas of adventures and my travels.  I guess I should thank the US Government for telling me that I was too old to join the military...go figure.  Thankfully, the beautiful RENegade came into my life and introduced me to an outlet that would lead to endless possibilities.

June 2011, the idea of teaching abroad is played with.  The next round of classes begin January 2012..yeah, thats do-able.  Still an idea, still a half a year away...We both apply to teach English abroad in Florence, Italy.  Still just an idea, still more than 6 months away...we both get accepted and then pay our deposit.  Ok, but we are still 2 seasons away..we have plenty of time. Ideas of pasta, wine, cobblestones and vespas circle in my head, happily.

Ill be moving back home two months prior to the move.  smh, THAT should interesting.  Then one day I wake up one day and it's October 24th. Shit, I have ran outta time and now I have a week to pack up my stuff. My girlfriends come over to help..newspapers and boxes everywhere.  I have 3 main catagories: into storage, come with me and send to me.  All of my memories get put into cardboard boxes so they can go into a dark room, waiting for me to come home... if I come home. Ok, side note: I almost cried typing that. Slowly, my room empties out and  is starting to feel bare. And when I pause for a moment, I suddenly feel bare too. Taking the first round of boxes to my moms house.  Yeah... shit just got  real..real.  Minor panic attacks..brief moments of excitement..whooshes of worry..and day dreams that don't end...

Yesterday was the day I officially turned in my notice.  My last day is Friday, December 23rd. If this wasn't real...it is now. 

Hi, my name is Nicole and I am 28 years old. 

I have quit my job, which I have made a career out of, to move to another country.

In this country, I do not know a single soul nor do I speak the language.

I will be teaching English.  Did I mention I hardly speak Engrish?

..but..

I will be with one of my closest and we are in it together.

We will feed our souls and our tummy's

We will tour the world and open new doors.
this will be an experience we will never forget.

So begins the story:
eat.PLAY.love.2012

Late Night Show with David Letterman: Top 10

As a favor to...well, myself, I have created my very own dating

Top 10:

- be agressive..be..be...agressive

but not that creepy white van type shit.  you can gtfoh with all that

-have your shit in order

I get it, we are all trying to figure it out one day at a time.  But at least have a direction

-know what you want and act accordingly

please dont have any secret agendas.  Lemme know up front, lets make this easy

-act your age

if you are 30y/o and still going to City Night's...we gotta problem

-big picture thinker

if you only know what you are doing 30 minutes from now...I have already left

-fuck it, THINKER in general

if you don't know the difference between "wear" and "where", you should be dating my 7 y/o GOD daugher

-good sense of humor

I can be a bit dry and sarcastic.  If you think it's "bitchy" you can hit the curb

-a mans man

if I can change a tire and you can't. ew.  if I own more tools than you. EW.  if I know more about sports than you. EWW.

-I-N-D-E-P-E-N-D-E-N-T

do you know what that means?  That I am tired of playing this Mama Bear shit.

-open minded

let's face it, I am from SF so get right...or get left (in the dust) 

because you are not in the power to CHOOSE

She is headstrong, smart, well-read, independent and just down right beautiful inside and out....

You know the type, we ALL know the type.  And sometimes, just sometimes, we ARE the type.  Besides the above, you are a no-nonsense kinda gal.  Fuck what you heard, this IS my world and it is ok to be selfish.  When your girlfriend is going thru it with that jerk-off yet again...you let her have it.  You know her worth, why doesn't she?  But to follow your own advise is like water and oil.  They just DO NOT mix

For a long while I was on the receiving end of stories about new relationships and the giving end of advise.  I would hear stories about my absolutely amazing friend meeting this less-than-average guy.  I would hear all the stories about what he said, things he didn't say, what he should do, what you would like him to do and what he actually did.  And more times than not, I would be saying the same thing.  You know he's a player.  You know he isn't ready.  Come on, that's a line.  He's just trying to smash.  And heaven forbid you actually fall in love and enter a monogamous relationship with him.  Cos then it's: he's not worth it. Know your own worth.  You can do better. Only you know when enough is enough.  and lastly, I GET IT.

See, the thing is, you can be the most intelligent person in the world.  You can have your ducks in a row and a good head on your shoulder.  But when it comes to matters of the heart, it always wins.  You can make the same mistake with different people over and over again cos you, my friend, are just a hopeless romantic. You run back to that same son of a bitch that broke your heart a million times.  Most of your friends remain cautious for you...express their concern.  Some lecture you, wanna shake you and say "did you forget?".  And some friends just say, "I get it" all the while shaking their head at you.  And it's because they have been there and done that.

You see, the thing about love is that you just can't CHOOSE who you fall for.  You just do.  There is no logic in it.  It takes over like a roller coaster.  At full speed, no brakes, taking you places that you never thought you would go.  You have no control and in the end it leaves you breathless and dizzy.  and maybe it is the masochist in all of us that leave us yearning for more...

Close mouths dont get fed.

men take out the trash

women clean the house

men mow the lawn

women do laundry

men make the money

women make the home

Do traditional gender roles still exist?  I mean, now a days more and more women are taking on roles that once upon a time men can only hold.  I mean, shit, Michele Bachman has officially announced her candidacy for the upcoming 2012 presidential elections.  While I am not a republican, Imma go with upgrade (although on a political side note, I still think Romney will win to run against Obama.  and of course, I remember Hilary did the same thing but we are speaking in present tense here).  But it's not only in the professional world.  There are more and more stay at home Dad's with bread winning wives.  Now how do these women get there...sure, ambition and drive (along with wit and intellect) have a lot to do with it.  But how women are communicating theirs wants and needs to reach such achievements have changed drastically.

Let us simplify by reviewing the current dating world.  Now for those of you that DO know me, you know that I am a go getter.  And if we are girlfriends..you are too.  And I have been very interested in the mannerisms that we as women display in this type of situation and how men react to different approaches.  A girlfriend of mine once talked about her "move"...and apparently, everyone has one.  But what type of move is efficient in getting that steller young feller over to where your standing?  And which moves say what about you?  What if it's not a move at all?  and more importantly...how forward is too forward?

The shy gal: she is standing at the bar with her girls, drinks in hand.  She notices a guy at the end of the bar who is HOTT.  She catches glimpses of him from time to time and she dare not move because she can see him perfectly.  But everyone can feel when someone is looking at them so he looks up at her and she looks away.  AWKWARDLY.  He doesn't know what to think about that so they never meet

The lady: Now she is on the dance floor with her girls dancing to any song with a good rhythm.  She notices a man on the side lines chatting it up with his friends.  Their eyes meet...she hold is for a second, looks away but looks back. and smiles.  That is his in...he asks for a dance.  GOT 'EM

The go-getter:  She walks into the club/bar/library/grocery store with her shoulders back, chest out and a smile on her face.  She sees something she likes and walks straight up to him and says, "I just wanted to let you know that you are incredibly handsome.." touches his arm ever so lightly and she turns and walks away.  He stands there in shock for a minute but as soon as he recovers...he goes in for the chase.

I opt to go with the go-getter style.  Not just in the dating world but with life in general.  I know this will come as a surprise to many, but I am passive agressive and I am working on it.  And since I have been, I landed a great job, have the best of friends, closer to my family and much happier in general.  How I feel is worn on my shoulder and you get no surprises from me.  It may be a little forward at times but you will always know where you stand with me.  Just wish it worked to other way around...or I wish I was a mind reader.  Tho fortune teller would work too...

Two spare tires

Why is it that when you meet someone incredibly fantastic, all you wanna do is find all the things that are wrong with them?  And when we find someone who is completely bad for us, all we wanna do is fix them.  SMH, terrible.

I love bad men.  The ones that have been in the penitentiary or at least have the potential in going.  The two tear on the face type that has robbed a bank or two.  Kidding...Kidding.  But really, it's the "bad boys" that us "good girls" just gravitate towards.  The leather wearing, motorcycle riding, tattoo on the neck having , 3 cell phone owning, bad mouth speaking swag that JUST KILLS ME.  You know they are bad for you...your friends warn you...HIS friends warn you...you have the gut feeling about him BUT you do what you do anyway.  He runs with the wrong crowd...he rolls in late night but is up at the crack of dawn.  He doesn't keep secrets cos you don't ask questions.  He's got that gansta swag that makes you feel safe and excited at the same time.  There is just something about him that makes you think that you are the girl that can make him a honest man.  Opps, you're wrong. 

What is even worse are the men as I just explained above but they wear suits. **swoon**  They have a good job but on their side hustle.  They are well articulated and have a mouth piece that just won't quit.  The type that walks into a room and everyone has to shake his hand cos yes, he is THAT important.  Standing next to him at an office party you feel like the trophy wife (without the wife) and when you are with him and his homies, you feel like Bonnie.  He knows the finer things in life...and acts accordingly.  Women take notice and so does he.  Options.  For some reason, your the one sitting passenger seat on a Friday night, at least for now.  But he is the type that is too busy with his one million projects and jobs and people and and and...so you are left on the back burner waiting for a free moment.

Then there is the unicorn man...no wait. Boy, you're an alien...your touch are foreign..it's super natural...extraterrestrial.  You can't be real cos there is no way that a man can be a good as you.  You got the swag...the job.. the stability and baby, your touch is as soft as they come.  You cupcake enough...you give me enough space...you hold my hand when no one is looking and steal a kisses when I least expect it.  You're sweet and do your best to sweep me off my feet.  The whirlwind idea of us tortures me in daydreams and before I lay my head down to sleep, you're the one I'm wishing I can be next to.  As far as I know, you are everything that I had told the universe about.  You are my Stringer Bell.  But again, timing could not be more wrong to meet Mr. Amazing.  Slowly, you feel yourself falling in like...

So you keep two spare tires just in case you get a flat

That's me!...no wait...THAT is

Women are traditionally regarded to be the emotional ones. 

The one who falls in love and ruins the plan. 
The one that is clingy and wants to spoon all night.

The one who wants children and the one who will stay home and play house.

Have you ever been Charlotte?  The cute and quaint girl who is just so darn lady like?  The one who wants her prince charming to sweep her off her feet and make her swoon...fall in love and just to live happily ever after.  Remember when you met that guy who almost had you thinking that you COULD BE THAT GIRL.  You can play house...you already know how to cook, you have a minor case of OCD and you've babysat once or twice in the past.  He promised you the moon and the stars and talked up a storm about the future.  He painted this beautiful picture that you just wanted to jump into and live in.

Have you ever been Miranda? Where your goals and ambitions came before anything and anyone else.  Your own drive had you on a natural high.  You would work from sun up to down because THIS was your passion...this IS what made sense. You say you got it, you got it..no doubt, there something about her.  Cos best believe, everything she got...she got herself.  And she is damn proud of that.  You come off bitchy but that's just because you know exactly what you want and how you want it.  Money is a funny motivator, isn't it?  And then one day you wake up with a loaded bank account and an empty bed...

Have you ever been Samantha?  SMH.  Must I go on?  Well, I suppose.  This is the type of gal that you become in...let's say...Vegas.  But this broad is FULL TIME.  She is able to cross gender lines and do things that we as women think only men can get away with.  Sure, she is looked at like a ho..but who's knockin her?  Her business is just that...hers.  Stay protected and do as you please...shit, how you please and with who you wanna please.  She is a cross between the complete opposite of Charlotte...love and marriage? Don't waste my time. and Miranda...self driven and money motivated.

Have your ever been Kerri? A downright hopeless romantic but a realist at the same time.  True love, "meant to be" and chivarly are not dying or dead, just rare.  Yes, you want what Charlotte wants...but real life.  No fairytales.  Yes, you have the ambition of Miranda but it does not dictate your life.  Yes, you understand the concept of "casual encounters" but not to the extent of Samantha.  But even with your head and heart as level as it can be, you still can not seem to get Mr. Big right.  You laugh, love and live on your own until that one day he follows you to Paris...or hopefully...Italy.